Garfield's REALly Extreme Harem
by The-Writing-Lump
Summary: The Real first chapter of Garfield's Extreme Harem. Inspired by Lil' Soniq's Sonic's Ultimate Harem.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Amy

"Odie, I'm going to tell you the story of how I got godpowers, befriended Sonic, boned some ladies, then came back home." Garfield said.

Odie stared at him blankly.

"That's right the first part isn't very long." Garfield said

Odie stared at him blankly.

Odie stared at him blankly.

"Yes, the whole story is very long." Garfield said.

Odie stared at him blankly.

Odie stared at him blankly.

"That's disgusting Odie. Take a cold shower before we begin." Garfield hissed.

Odie stared at him blankly.

"Fine, fine, if you have to. This is the Story of my Extreme Harem.

It had been about a week since our hero had landed in this strange land. He had quickly made a friend, a friend none other than that world's hero, Sonic the Hedgehog. But, Sonic is not the hero of this tale. No, our hero is Garfield. Garfield was once a fat, lazy, orange cat. But through a series of events so complex and unbelievable, he is far different.

Garfield is now a six foot tall, two hundred and fifty pound, human man with his usual cat head. Due to the energy of the Chaos Emeralds that now courses through his veins, Garfield can eat lasagna everyday and not gain an ounce of fat.

Sonic has changed since we knew him too. Sonic is five foot ten inches tall and one hundred sixty pounds of muscle. He's matured, some. He no longer enjoys fighting and saving the world. He and Garfield are now roommates in New York City.

Garfield just wants to find a way to return home, while Sonic wants to sleep with over four hundred women. His count is pretty high too, over three hundred and fifty women have been bedded so far. Talk about a player.

The lovable orange lump puts up with his roommates behaviour and demeaning attitude towards women, because every once in a while, Sonic shows a moment of pure selflessness. Also, Sonic is insanely rich after selling all of his gold rings, so the two want for nothing.

It was during one of their daily work out sessions that they began a conversation, a conversation Garfield had never thought they would have.

"So, Garfield, my main man. Have you been with a woman before?" Sonic asked, as he bench pressed a lot of weights like it was nothing.

"Human or cat?" Garfield asked, curling large weights effortlessly.

"Either one, I won't say I've never slept with a dog before. There was this one bitch, Per-." Sonic started. "Well, actually, I won't get you down in the details."

"I've been with both, actually. My friend, Jon, was dating this one lady, a vet. Let's just say, there's a reason she never neutered me." Garfield purred.

"Woah, sounds spicy. Care to share?" Sonic said, throwing the bar to the side. The weights landed with a thud.

"Never, a gentleman never talks." Garfield responded. He dropped his weights. They moved to another part of the gym, this time running on treadmills. This didn't stop them from talking, since they're both incredibly in shape. Garfield didn't even struggle to keep up with the blue blur, because of the godlike powers that had transported Garfield to this strange world.

"Fair enough. I have a friend that I tell everything, but we weren't always friends. Not like you and me Garfield. We've always been friends, since the day we met." Sonic said, turning up the speed on the treadmill.

"That's true. When I crash landed here like a meteor, my godlike powers keeping me alive, I saw your face and thought 'wow, I don't want to kill him'", Garfield said, setting the treadmill even higher than Sonic's.

"When I saw the crater you made, I thought you were one of Eggman's creations. You did destroy a large portion of Central City, capital of the United Federation. But then I saw how ripped you were and I knew a god must have sculpted you, not Eggman." Sonic responded. He started running even faster.

"Eggman, that's a name I haven't heard in quite some time. When was the last time?" Garfield mused, running even faster.

"At his funeral, I believe." Sonic answered.

"That's right, after I ripped his spine out and beat him with it, we weren't supposed to be invited, but I used my new powers to make it so we could. That way I could stare at him and tell him how easily he died." Garfield chuckled.

"Yes, that was it. That's also the day we moved into an apartment in New York together." Sonic said.

"Indeed it was." Garfield said.

Just then, Sonic outran what the treadmill was capable of. It shorted out and started smoking. Garfield's made a horrible noise, but his eyes glowed the color of the cosmos and the machines began to work again.

"Woah, your powers are amazing, is there anything you can't do?" Sonic asked in wonder.

"Nope, I can do anything." Garfield admitted.

"Why haven't you used your powers to go home?" Sonic asked.

"Because-" Garfield began. He was cut off by a pink hedgehog approaching. She was flat chested and annoying, but Sonic had been friends with her before he matured.

"Hey Sonic, how are you? Who's your friend?" Amy Rose asked, swooning over the hot cat.

"Hey Amy, this is my friend Garfield." Sonic responded.

"Hi Garfield." Amy said

"Hi Amy." Garfield said.

"Hey Sonic, would you want to go on a date?" Amy asked. Sonic opened his mouth to say no when the strangest thing happened.

Garfield's eye glowed the color of the cosmos again and Amy began shifting before their very eyes. Her chest grew, her waist shrunk, her ass grew. She had the proportions of Sonic's ideal type: video game babe. Sonic had to hide his growing erection, a difficult tasking considering he's ten inches soft.

"Yes Amy, I would love to." Sonic said.

"Awesome, like, totally awesome." Amy said.

"How about the bar below my apartment? They have the best burgers." Sonic said. Garfield had rewritten reality to make them have the best burgers the first day they had moved in.

"Sounds good, then we can have sex in your apartment after!" Amy said excitedly.

"Yes!" Sonic said, no longer hiding his impressive manhood. Amy bit her lip, suppressing the orgasm she had just from seeing Sonic's impressive bulge.

"I'll see you tonight at eight?" Amy said, not bothering to hear an answer. There was a puddle of love juice where she had been standing.

"Hey man, did you change reality to make Amy hotter?" Sonic asked

"Of course man." Garfield answered.

"Thanks, you're a real bro." Sonic said, gladly.

"She won't even remember who she was before." Garfield winked.

"Even better!" Sonic said.

No one is reading this for that, of course, but you had to know the set up. The date went well, leading of course to Sonic taking Amy upstairs. Both parties were 25, so everything was legal and consensual. They started round one in the elevator on the way up. Sonic made amy cum seven times, orgasm after rolling orgasm, but he never broke once. He grinned at that.

When they reached his apartment, he had Amy grab the key from under the rug. While she was bent over, he rammed his shaft into her pussy, repeatedly and hard.

"OOOOOH SONIC YES" Amy screamed.

"It feels good doesn't it Rouge?" Sonic said.

"Yeah baby, it does." Amy responded. Sonic realized she hadn't even noticed the slip up. He smiled. She wanted that blue raspberry lollipop.

Sonic thrusted into her a few more time, before she screamed and made a goofy face, cumming on his penis.

"Wow Sonic, that was amazing, can we do it more?" Amy asked, sweetly.

"Maybe in the room!" Sonic responded. "Who am I kidding, definitely in the room."

Once in the living room, they lost their clothes, making sweet passionate love on the couch. This went on for hours, changing positions over and over. Sonic is on top, thrusting into her lady parts. Then Amy is on top, spinning on his penis. Then Sonic taking her from behind, saying something about the pound. Then Amy is upside down, sucking his dick with her legs around his neck. Sonic didn't reciprocate because he didn't have to, his dick was pleasure enough. She orgasmed in each position.

Then Sonic pulled out a camera, and shot nudes. He made her masturbate while he watched, taking pictures. This was for his private collection, pictures he would post online and show all of his friends later.

After that, Sonic pulled out a hose, something he had specially installed for his conquests. He used it to spray Amy down, bringing her into deep, loud moans.

"OOOOOHSONIC YES." Amy yelled. "Spray me more, please."

Sonic did as she asked, until she fell on the ground, panting. He smirked. This was just what he liked. He began stroking his massive, erect cock. It started slow, very slow. Then it sped up to slow. Then a little slow. He stroked at a slow medium speed, then a medium speed. Amy laid on the ground, entranced by his massive man-meat. His stroking increased to fast, and he started grunting. Finally, he stroked at Sonic Speed. He blasted a load all over Amy. She orgasmed as his love fluid ran down her body.

"Oh Sonic, that was amazing!" She praised.

"Woah, wait!" Sonic began, then he grinned, "Sorry, I'm not used to people being awake when I do that."

"That's Understandable, those consecutive orgasms almost had me passed out in pleasure." Amy admitted, praising the blue blur once more.

"Yes, that's what I meant." Sonic said.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

"Hey Sonic, I heard you all downstairs. Is it okay for me to come in now? I took the elevator, I figured that would be slower than if I took the steps." Garfield called from the front door.

Sonic had a naughty idea forming. He looked at Amy, raising an eyebrow. She nodded, mouth drooling with excitement. Sonic nodded, giving his erect cock another stroke. Amy shuddered with pleasure at the idea she knew he was suggesting.

"Hey, my friend Garfield, how would you like to fuck Amy with me?" Sonic asked.

Garfield broke through the door, not even bothering opening it. He ripped off his clothes, showing off his footlong, semi-erect penis. He had so many muscles, Sonic couldn't even name them all. Granted, Sonic had definitely failed Anatomy class. How was he supposed to study when the book had diagrams of boobs?

"May I?" Garfield asked.

"Please do." Sonic and Amy said in unison.

Garfield activated his Super Form, becoming as large as the Incredible Hulk. He lifted Amy and slammed her on his erect penis. He began thrusting, at first hard, then very hard.

"Glad to see you warmed her up for me!" Garfield thanked Sonic.

"No problem at all my man." Sonic said.

Garfield leaned Amy back, still thrusting, so that she was parallel to the ground. Using only his impressive muscles, he held her there. She opened her mouth, so that Sonic could stick his impressive member in. In this way she pleasured both men for roughly forty five minutes, she orgasmed regularly, because they were incredible at sex. Finally, Sonic turned red in the face. He burst a load in her mouth, causing her to sputter out the white foam. Garfield came after, shooting his Garfield Jr's all over Amy's body.

Then Garfield flipped her around, sticking his penis in her open mouth. Sonic stuck his penis in her butt, but Garfield pushed him back

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN, I INVITED YOU HERE." Sonic yelled.

"Careful, friend Sonic. You aren't wearing a condom. Do you want to take a chance peeing in her butt?" Garfield asked knowingly.

"Holy shit, you saved me man. I can't afford to be a father, I haven't slept with four hundred women yet." Sonic said, turning white as a sheet.

"That's a bros job my man." Garfield said, still thrusting into Amy's mouth. Sonic resumed, though this time he rammed balls deep into Amy's womanhood. He didn't even need to touch her clit, that's how good he was.

After an hour of doing this, Sonic shot his seed into Amy, thankful he wouldn't get her pregnant. Garfield trust for another half hour, while Sonic drank a light blue gatorade so he could be refreshed for more. Finally, Garfield came, letting loose his sperm in her mouth. He was so forceful, that it came out her butt. She fell asleep on the spot, spending as many orgasms as she had in that brief time. Garfield carried her to his bed. A gentleman, he wouldn't do more until she could consent.

"Too bad she passed out!" Sonic said.

"I know, I still have more juice in me." Garfield said, sadly. "Kitty gotta play."

"Maybe…. Maybe I could fix that for you?" Sonic said.

"Really?" Garfield said. "Are you gay or something?"

"Two things" Sonic started. "Is it gay for one bro to give another bro pleasure? And, of course, I'll say No Homo before I blow you."

"That solves it." Garfield said.

Sonic took Garfield's manhood in his mouth, bobbing his head back and forth at a rhythm that made the orange cat head purr. It didn't take nearly as long as with Amy. When two masters of the sexual arts try, it can take as little as sixty seconds. Garfield shot the biggest, hottest load of the night.

"You didn't say No Homo." Garfield said.

"I didn't want to." Sonic admitted.

"Bro." Garfield said with a smile.

"Bro." Sonic responded.

"And that's how I boned Sonic." Garfield finished.

Odie stared at him blankly.

Odie stared at him blankly.

Odie stared at him blankly.

Odie stared at him blankly.

"I know, you weren't expecting that were you?" Garfield said.

Odie stared at him blankly.

Odie stared at him blankly.

Odie stared at him blankly.

Odie stared at him blankly.

Odie stared at him blankly.

"It was good. Do you want to hear more stories?" Garfield asked, flexing.

 **Well folks, that's Chapter 1. Shoutout to Lil' Soniq and Aspiring-Creator for their help. This story couldn't have happened without them, especially Lil' Soniq's themes of promiscuous cartoon characters and Aspiring-Creator's great advice. Until next time, stay lazy, hate Monday's, and above all else, eat Lasagna. This is The-Writing-Lump, signing out.**


	2. Chapter 2

"So on to the next chapter, Odie." Garfield purred.

Odie stared at him blankly.

"That's right, Odie, I fucked those hedgehogs really good." Garfield said.

Odie stared at him, blankly.

"How did you know Rogue was the next girl I met?" Garfield asked.

Odie stared at him blankly.

"I don't want to hear about your satanic practices anymore Odie." Garfield hissed.

Odie stared at Garfield blankly.

"I don't care if it did tell you who really blew up the moon." Garfield said.

Odie stared at him blankly.

"What do I care about the real cause of the War of Roses?" Garfield said.

Odie stared at him blankly.

"I don't care what secrets you learned. Talk about it again and I'll wear your face."

Odie stared. At Garfield. Blankly.

"Good, may I continue?"  
Odie stared at him. Blankly.

"Thank you. It all started when I was visiting the X-mansion. The mutants had hoped hat I could solve No More Mutants with my god powers." Garfield explained. "Wait, what the fuck, why is your penis out?"

Odie stared at him blankly.

"I can't tell the story right now, not until you put it away."

Odie stared at him blankly.

"Thank you for putting your penis away. I need a break now, though."

 **Hey everyone, sorry for the weird chapter. I just kept imagining Odie whipping out his dick and I couldn't focus, so I figured that could be used in the story. Maybe Next chapter, Odie can keep it together. As always, Eat Lasagna and Hate Mondays.**


	3. Chapter 3

"So Odie, now that you put your penis away, how about I tell you how I met Rogue." Garfield began.

"Why yes, Garfield, my friend, I think I would quite enjoy that." Odie stated.

"ODIE, WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY ABOUT TALKING!" Garfield screamed.

Odie stared at him blankly.

"Better. So there I was, cucking Gambit at the X-mansion." Garfield explained. "I fucked Rogue, then left the X-mansion. There's not more to the story than that."

Odie stared at him blankly.

"Of course I'm kidding. I reset No More Mutants and brought Professor X back to life. I completely hanged their universe." Garfield said.

FLASHBACK!

"Thank you for visiting. Garfield." Professor X said.

"Of course, Baldy." Garfield explained.

"And thank you, Sonic, for not having intercourse with any of the students." Professor X said.

"Of course. I'm 23 and most of the students are under 18. I would never take advantage of them like that." Sonic said.

"What a bizarre thing to say."Professor X said

"It's why you love us." Garfield said.

"That's true!" Beast said.

"Hey, Sonic, Garfield, is thare any way I can see you two in my room?" Rogue asked.

Garfield and Sonic exchanged a look. Then, because Sonic didn't get it, Garfield spoke through his mind.

 _Sonic, we can use her room to kill someone._

 _Garfield that's illegal._

 _Not if I say it's okay._

 _Fair enough._

"Alright, We'll use your room." Garfield said.

"What?" Rogue asked

Five hours later.

Garfield stood bloody in Rogue's room. He and Sonic had done it. They had killed Deadpool. Again and again. Every time he regenerated, they killed him again. And again. and again. And again. Blood and more blood. Bones and flesh and guts. All of it, scattered around the room, on Rogue's bed, in her closet. Finally, Garfield just dissolved Deadpool into a dust that could never regenerate. Then they left the room, heading to the library.

Rogue met them there and the three had hot, passionate sex. So hot and passionate, in fact, that a book caught fire.

Garfield put it in her butt and Sonic put it in her pussy. They rammed it into her until all three came.

Then, Garfield and Sonic left.

 **That's the end of this chapter. Something told me that Garfield would want me to focus on killing Deadpool instead of having sex with Rogue. Eat Lasagna and Hate Mondays!**


	4. Filler Chapter While 4 is being written

**Garfield looked at Odie. Odie stares at him blankly.**

"How the hell do you know about The Stranger?" Garfield calls out, standing up.

Odie leans in closer. "Can't you tell?"

"He's not a jerk," Garfield declares. "Why do you think you looked at me? Tell me the truth."

Odie shakes his head. "A stranger?"

"You had to help me."

Odie flinches a bit and looks away. "Don't lie to me," he whispers

Garfield smacked Sonic in the face with his massive cock and balls.

"What the fuck is happening here?" He asked. Sonic sat up from his sofa and proceeded to stare at his mother.

"It's going to be alright." At that, a huge orgasm came over the brat and he shuddered from his mind-shattering orgasm. In those minutes, Sonic's dad, Parrot, came over to the family room and hugged them all. His voice was calm and easy to understand.

"My son, you have come this far without me, so just relax. You do what you do best.

"The problems are the consequences of changing the past. The war, the constant psychological warfare, the tears and the medication to keep them off their head and off the streets. The constant, constant torture, the constant infighting, the constantly trying to bully someone for the betterment of their brother. The lack of good and proper medicine and water for my patients to drink. The constant anger, the sadness, the distrust, the fear." Sonic said to Garfield.

Sonic looked sadly at the cat, thinking off all the times he had used his powers for good, which was every time.

"I want you to fuck Amy." Sonic said to Garfield. "She likes it when I'm happy." He finished as he fell back on the bed and onto his back with his head on Garfield's shoulder. "Good for you." Garfield replied and slid down on top of Sonic, putting their bottoms together. Sonic looked back and forth at Garfield. "Amy loves seeing you like this."

Sonic had realized by now that his feelings towards Garfield weren't getting any better. "She thinks I look pretty good." He said and his face began to heat up.

"Oh, you say that everytime you see me," retorted Garfield. "You'd look so pretty if you looked less like some a–"

"I'm as pretty as I want to be," Sonic assured him and spun around with a beaming grin. His boot pressed against Garfield's forehead, causing Garfield to hold his head to the side. "Well, how about just going to the gym for some cardio?"

Garfield turned to look at him with big eyes, his eyes opening wide. He didn't have a horse to ride.

"I just went to the gym, I'm not going to go back to the theme park," Garfield said. His eyes widened as he stared at the hedgehog.

"Are you fucking crazy?! You can't just do that because you're an exhibitionist! That's nothing compared to what happened!"

"Exactly," the hedgehog said. "I'm not going to buy my own cake."

"You don't have to," Garfield replied. "I'm starving."

"Can I fuck the cake?" Sonic asked Garfield.

Garfield looked sheepish and shook his head. "You're not supposed to. It's for your birthday."

"Oh," Sonic said. "Uh, thanks Garfield." He hopped into his wheelchair and gave Garfield a bright smile. "I'm going to be a dad."

"What's the secret to not making babies?"

"I don't have time to screw around with sex before I give birth."

"Sonic! You are one hell of a dad!" Garfield yelled.

"If a man is going to make a mistake, let it be a brother-in-law's mistake! This one is for you, Mr. Odie." Sonic informed.

Garfield choked back his laughter, only to find himself smiling as well.

"I like things." Sonic responded with a shrug.

"I like the sheen in my nail polish, the softness of my scarf, and the hardness of your cock." Garfield purred at Sonic.

Sonic blushed.

"Well, um, I'll kiss you if you like it. I think I can taste it." Garfield said as he straddled Sonic and grabbed his muzzle with both hands. "And I'll do the same for you."

Sonic stared at Garfield, but he didn't resist. It was that wicked grin of his, he seemed to be thinking of something far more intense than masturbation or kissing.

With his last bit of reserves, Sonic went on to demonstrate his advanced skills.

Slowly, he repeated the cycle over and over again, that edge of gloating naughtiness once again popping up on his face.

Garfield was left staring at him, stunned and silent. What was going on with him?  
But there was one strange phrase Sonic had brought up during his childbirth. Garfield when at the hospital, had declared his wife 'unladylike' and pointed out that he didn't know that she could lay down flat like that. He added, 'In other words, a baby just rolled out of the hospital, did it?'  
Sonic's uncle had had to explain the healing properties of Sonic's 'new skin'. This restored her to full physical strength and regeneration. It was a victory, but one that only the good Doctor could claim.  
Garfield's wife is Sonic the Hedgehog. They have a child together named Sonic (who would turn out to be only a child, not in the movie) and she is only identified in a comic book backstory. The English title for her character is Sonic the Hedgehog, and she is a friend of Sonic's sister Tails (much like the true protagonist of the comic book). Though she is ostensibly one of the weaker characters in the story, the writer has been known to have hidden anything to get the protagonist somewhere.

To end the chapter, Garfield kisses Sonic on the forehead. Garfield is brought back to the present, where Sonic is with the rest of the party celebrating the upcoming plan.

It's revealed that the United Nations has agreed to count within one day a plane carrying the Giant Rings and a place suitable for building the rings. After an ominous joke, the ringless team return home to settle in for a more peaceful day, announcing they'll go back to Mobius as soon as the rings are complete.


End file.
